A bone deep narcotic exhaustion settled into my body driving to
Play del Carmen, sending a sister of my soul on her way home to Austin. New
Year’s Eve day 2012, the final day of an epic year in the Gregorian and Mayan
calendars and I am so tired all I can do is spin wheels then lie down. Both
sadness and irritability emotionally supported the body’s call. Hours of prayer
dream sleep and awakening at 9:35 I realize I won’t be lighting the fire after
all. This is the 3rd fire of our fire season that I have not lit the
flame. Organically, it appears as if this is where our ritual is now.
Even the anticipation of my most favorite thing, the place where
I feel the essence of this self as Fire Keeper, Ecstatic Dancer, was not enough to rouse me
out of the depths my body insisted upon. My work is to listen. The work of the
ending and beginning manifesting as I returned again and again to my heart and
to universal prayers. From prayers to dreams and back again. The walk of the
longest road is the head to the heart according to Mayan elder Wandering Wolf, the
only road I want to follow. This is how 2012 crossed to 2013 for me. My tribe
held fire while I held the innermost prayers, listening and honoring the deep
quiet call to within.
I woke up happy this morning. My conviction is clear for the work of peace and transformation: it is in the service of our Mama, this precious Earth. It will be interesting to see how this manifests.
